Hello Universe, I am listening.. finally

It’s a thinky post today!

Doesn’t it sometimes feel like things go around on the internet like the collective in Star Trek?  Lots of posts recently about accepting ourselves or giving up dieting or what have you.

As you know, I have been struggling a bit with body image the last few weeks.  The funny thing is that is coincided with me not weighing myself for this month as one of my goals.  I don’t know if that is coincidence, because I don’t weigh myself every day, or if it is just the turn a mind will take sometimes for whatever unknown reason.

I really have been seeing myself as bigger than I am.  Yes, I am 10 pounds heavier than I used to be, but that certainly is not 100 pounds heavier, and I have stayed right around this range (give or take 5 pounds) for the last year and a half.  Yet, I feel almost like I look like I did at 250, which I know isn’t true.

That is the weird part.  I don’t know where that feeling comes from.  Anyhoo, there has been just a little cavalcade of posts and articles the last few weeks that really have kind of fallen into my lap lately.  I am not one to believe in signs, destiny, fate or anything like that, but maybe I have just noticed these in particular because I really need to think about them.

Some of the posts that struck a cord with me lately.  These are little excerpts from the posts, but please mark them all to read in full.

Shauna –  “Anyway, there I was feeling like a stinking fraud and like nothing I wrote would ever be worthy until the day I could report, Hey folks, you can come back now. I’m normal again! I match the After photo!”

Cammy – “Here’s wishing us all a peaceful spirit and the strength to accept it. We really ARE worthy, just as we are right now

Yoni Freedhoff (this is an old post, but I love it). ” Set your goal to do your best and never be discouraged if it’s not as good as someone else’s.”

And this one today, which just spoke volumes and volumes to me and I really loved it.  8 Ways to Capture & Keep Your “Body Peace”

Important points for me:

” If you can’t find a way to be happy in this moment, right now, regardless of your size, shape or weight, then you probably won’t feel happy 10, 20 or 30 lbs less.”   Totally true for me.  There is that fine line you walk between trying to improve because you want to and improve because you aren’t happy.

Body esteem has NOTHING to do with actual hard numbers. You can find women who are 200+ lbs and who love every curve. It’s a state of MIND.”  It’s all about attitude.

Is your physique the only thing you have to offer the world?”  Hell no!

Definitely read the rest of that one. It’s good.

I am just going to be me.  I am going to be happy with how I am right this minute, regardless of whether I ever get off 10 more pounds.  It doesn’t matter in the scheme of the world.  Sure, there are going to be people who judge me because people do, let’s face it, but their judgement of me has no value to me – and I need to not judge myself, either.

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13 thoughts on “Hello Universe, I am listening.. finally

  1. Cammy@TippyToeDiet

    Such an awesome post, Lori. I’ve had that same sensation lately, of suddenly *feeling* like I’m in the old body–it’s so hard to explain. I can look in the mirror or put on the same pants I’ve been wearing for the past two+ years and know it’s not true, but the feelings are the same. I’m trying not to dwell, and posts like this one (and the ones you shared) help keep me focused on the truth. (And thank you for including my post in the mix!)

    You have accomplished so much and are doing amazing things every single week, both physically and in the rest of life. You deserve to be happy and enjoy life as you are right now, which is pretty damned good, if you ask me.

    And so do we all. 🙂
    Cammy@TippyToeDiet´s last blog post ..The Easiest, Tastiest Corn-on-the-Cob You’ll Ever Eat

  2. Sharon

    In less than 24 hours, I get to tell you in person how grateful I am for your accomplishments and what an encouragement you’ve been to me. Part of what has been so helpful to me is the willingness to be honest about the fact that struggles continue. None of us are ever “there.” This will always be a journey and when one thing seems to be stable, something else with rear its ugly head causing doubt about our accomplishments.

    Those quotes were terrific and I’m thankful you’re just going to be “you.” Cause that’s the person I can’t wait to meet!!
    Sharon´s last blog post ..Dover Dilemma!

  3. Shelley B

    I pretty much came to the same conclusion as you last September, and it’s just such a relief to not always be thinking about losing weight, or what the scale says – just living an active, healthy life is great, and such a 180 from where you and I both were just a few short years ago. I’m glad you’ve chosen this path – I really think you’re going to like it. 🙂
    Shelley B´s last blog post ..Four Year Blogiversary!

  4. Leah

    Yes! Yes! One thing that makes me so sad is to see someone discontent with themselves when they reach their goal weight, but I’ve come to learn it’s often because weight is very superficial so losing it doesn’t lose the lack of self esteem. Geneeth Roth wrote an article where she encouraged people to love themselves, “even if they never lost another pound”. That was one of the hardest things for me to do, but I know it was the precursor for me starting on this last weight loss journey.

    Lori, thank you for sharing a ‘thinky’ post and be so open and honest. I appreciate it!
    Leah´s last blog post ..Hey, I’m There!

  5. debby

    Well, I have been struggling big time with this this past weekend. The blogs from Cammy and Diet Girl really spoke to me too. I looked at the other blog you linked and I am going to read it again when I am not so tired. Thanks for writing this Lori.

    P.S. Loved your bike ride post–thanks for sharing your fun day with all of us!
    debby´s last blog post ..I Should Write a Blog

  6. Anne

    Lori–know what? You write a very life-affirming blog! Life is filled with beauty, ideas, family, work, a dear cat : ) and little rituals that make life sweet. Don’t be discouraged; the weight thing is only part of it–and you look wonderful.

  7. Jody - Fit at 54

    AMAZING POST LORI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Love it, need it & I DO know I need it. I do tend to define myself by my fitness life & I am OK with that BUT with age, you can do everything right & it does not matter which is what has been happening since the 50’s for me AND a bad time right now with doing all I can to no avail but craziness. Thank you – I needed this!
    Jody – Fit at 54´s last blog post ..Raise the Booty! Obesity Crisis Documentary ; Giveaway Winner

  8. Helen

    I’ll be the fly in the ointment and say that I believe it’s possible to be happy with oneself but not necessarily happy with weight. Or maybe the word should be content. I feel pretty happy most of the time and about the only thing that would make me happier right now has nothing to do with my weight or body. I am not content nor satisfied to stay at the weight I am but I’m not letting the extra weight determine my happiness or how I live my life either. I want to lose 10-15 more pounds and I intend to do that. I don’t think it will make me happier at all. Healthier maybe but not happier.

    Body image and weight are not always connected because I know some bigger than me women who live wickedly happy lives and it wouldn’t even occur to them to diet. They are happy and content with themselves and their weight while someone looking from the outside might opine that they need to lose some.

    It’s such a personal thing isn’t it. I do have to say I think you’re making a very wise decision for yourself. I bet peace and contentment follow.
    Helen´s last blog post ..Skidding on the Runway

    1. Lori Post author

      Not a fly at all, Helen. I am not going to stop trying to get off the last bit of weight. I just need to make sure that I am happy with how I look right now and not worry so much about what could be in the future.

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