Do I have what it takes?

Okay, I am writing this with Livewriter.  I was using WordPress blogging software before, but it started pissing me off with loading photos, so I am going to try Livewriter.

Not that anybody cares about that, but if things look different, that is why.

Anyhoo, I was writing this post yesterday and never got around to finishing it. 

I do my weigh ins on Wednesday normally.  Sometimes I will check in on another day, but Wednesdays have always been my ‘official’ WI day. 

This week the blog world was filled with many people having great weeks, this being the first part of the year and all, which is exciting.

So I get on the scale on Wed hoping to see some movement.  Or rather hear movement since it is a talking scale.  I have stayed in my 1500 calorie budget all week and got in exercise every day with riding the trainer, walking and lifting.

I step on and hear “You are at your starting weight.”  Come on Mary Lou! Really? 

I have this maintaining thing down pat, since this is exactly the weight from 01/01/2012.  However, I don’t like that this is what I have to do to maintain. 

I just don’t know if I have what it takes to do more to actually lose weight.  I don’t want to give up more food.  I just cannot go down lower in calories and be happy. At all. I already get hungry as it is, no matter what the macronutrient ratio is that I eat. 

I might be able to squeeze in more exercise, but I certainly don’t want exercise to be my life and become a chore. 

Now, I am really just bitching here.  I am not changing anything up yet since it is early, but it is a bit disheartening.  I guess I can chalk a lot of this up to sedentary job, mid 40s and female, right?

On a lighter note:

Billy is going to his forever home this weekend.  Well, today he decided to get in the garbage in the shop.  I wasn’t thinking and tossed the lid to the canned cat food into the shop garbage, which I normally don’t do.  John called me out later and told me to bring my camera. Billy had smelled the lid and got into the garbage, coming into contact with the blue cosmetic colorant bag.  Good thing this stuff is nontoxic.  However, now we have a blue kitteh:


I hope we can get this off of him before he goes to his new home. So embarrassing! 😳

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34 thoughts on “Do I have what it takes?

  1. Daria


    I rarely miss a day reading your blog. Why? You are so real! While it sounds as if you’d like to lose more, I must say I think you look fabulous. I so appreciate the fact that you’ve found an enjoyable way to exercise and made it a great part of your life and relationship with your husband. i also love that you understand your needs and plan for the rituals that bring you comfort, i.e. – candy corn in the fall and a latte in the afternoon. If you never lose another pound, may I just say – not only do I think you have what it takes, I think you show that every day. Take care and have an amazing evening:)

  2. Cammy@TippyToeDiet

    I’m sorry the scale didn’t go your way, Lori. I do understand your frustration! Does your body feel different, or do you feel the same as 01/01/12? (That’s no small accomplishment, btw. I haven’t weighed in a while, but I doubt mine is the same, even if I’m wearing the same pants. :))

    As to Billy, will there be a video of you trying to de-Smurf him?
    Cammy@TippyToeDiet´s last blog post ..Fun and Possibly Effective Mind Tricks for Weight Loss

    1. Lori Post author

      I feel …. puffier… for lack of a better word. I think that is just time going by and that feeling of being smaller when I first lost the weight has kind of dissipated. If that makes any sense 😀

  3. Shelley B

    Why do you want to lose weight? What is wrong with maintaining – you are a healthy, fit woman. Based on your meal pictures, you eat good food with a decent amount of fruit and veggies. At what point is starving yourself worth taking off another 5 pounds? You seem to enjoy life; why change things?
    Shelley B´s last blog post ..Wednesday Workout Update

    1. Lori Post author

      Well, I am a size bigger than I used to be and I don’t feel quite as comfortable here. That’s what I am hoping to do is get back to feeling more comfortable. It just seems a lot harder to do this time.

      1. Shelley B

        What if you made some small changes but didn’t rely on the scale for verification that they were working? Since I started buckling down on my Getting Lean in 2013 (how much do you think I can beat that into the ground, lol?), I can see that my stomach has gone down, and my face is looking thinner. But I wonder, if I’d stepped on the scale and didn’t get “pound recognition”, if I’d feel as good about it.
        Shelley B´s last blog post ..Friday Mishmash

  4. Fran

    I’m a bit with Shelley. Of all people you are one of the few I admire for eating healthy and exercise on a regular base, you are my role model. I don’t know what you could do to change things up, your food is good, your exercise is good. The only thing I can think of is see if you can put (even) more variation in your food so your body is surprised by it and do different exercise but if that works, I don’t know, you are doing everything right already.

    You are not happy with your body and I understand that, everyone can say you look great but it’s about what you feel. But to me you are looking great and you’re an awesome woman.
    Fran´s last blog post ..Tuesday January 8, 2013: WW update

  5. Fran

    Oh and about the thing that everyone had a great first week. Let’s see if that still is the same by the end of the month. We all know the first 3 weeks of a New Year everyone eats healthy and exercises but a lot of people (and I hopefully used to be one of them) throw in the towel after 3 weeks. But you never have what makes you the winner in the end.
    Fran´s last blog post ..Tuesday January 8, 2013: WW update

      1. Fran

        You’re not! This year I’m doing fine the first week except for the running part and all these other years I had the same feelings seeing everyone doing so good the first week of the year. It’s not fun to read it everywhere when it’s not going how you want it.
        Fran´s last blog post ..Tuesday January 8, 2013: WW update

  6. Satu

    I’m glad Billy the Blue Cat has found a forever home. He looks like an adventurous guy and completely different from what he looked just a couple of months ago 🙂

    I agree with the other commentators that you already look pretty good. I know losing weight within the normal BMI can be very difficult.
    Satu´s last blog post ..Weight loss and exercise goals: process vs outcome?

    1. Lori Post author

      I am not in a normal BMI. I actually have never been. Even at my lowest weight I was still just in the overweight category. That’s why charts blow…

    1. Lori Post author

      Well, I am not going to change now. I have in the past done pretty much all styles of eating to try them. It’s just finding a way that I can stick with forever.

  7. Andra

    Hormonal changes at our age makes it really tough to lose weight! I’m sorry your struggling a bit, nothing worse than not feeling your best even when you work so hard at it. Perhaps looking into some information about changing female hormones (there are plenty of books out there, check your library) to shed some light and may lead you to a solution without having to make yourself miserable, hungry and tired.

    You did a great job with Billy, so happy he’s found home!
    Andra´s last blog post ..Cilantro Lime Chicken Lettuce Cups

    1. Lori Post author

      I have thought about getting a hormone evaluation. I am cheap, though, and I have to pay for that out of pocket LOL!

      1. Shelley B

        I’ve been curious about this – what would you do if your hormones were found to be out of whack? Would you/are you willing to take hormones? I have a feeling mine are wonky, but I feel good enough that I’m not sure I’d take meds to correct them…kinda in the “don’t rock the boat” too much, you know?
        Shelley B´s last blog post ..Friday Mishmash

        1. Lori Post author

          I am not big on taking meds at all, but I would probably take them in this case because hormones being out of balance can really cause a lot of issues. I talked with someone who took hormones and could not belief the relief from it – after being very resistant to taking them.

          Maybe this spring I will have them checked out, along with another thyroid panel.

          1. Shelley B

            I’ll be interested to see what comes of it…one of these days I need to find a new lady doc (read: not a young whippersnaper who HAS NO EMPATHY for what 40-somethings are going through) and check that out.
            Shelley B´s last blog post ..Friday Mishmash

  8. Helen

    When I was a young (skinny!) Weight Watchers leader I had plenty of women of a certain age who were coming faithfully to meetings and weigh-ins and not losing weight. Back then I did not get it – now it’s all too familiar. But as you know, I am also struggling with this same issue. I’m very tired of dieting and exercising so much to stay at a place I don’t want to be. It’s frustrating so I’m sending you a virtual hug.

    Other than that, I don’t think I could say it any better than Daria has. Bravo to her for being spot on about what the rest of us see in you Lori!
    Helen´s last blog post ..Maybe I’ve Decided to Just Be Fat?

  9. Rachel Weber

    When we got Darwin, he had dried white paint crusted on his ears. Turns out he had gotten into a paint can right before she brought him over to our apartment to meet Kharma. We loved him no less than the paint-free version. And all it took was a flea comb to get the paint chunks out. It’s quite amusing. No need to be embarrassed about it…it just shows Billy has an adventurous side 😉

  10. Lynn

    “However, I don’t like that this is what I have to do to maintain.” Nail on head!! This is something I’ve subconsciously rebelled against this last year and have allowed far too many old habits and old foods creep into my life. Just please don’t give up because if you do, then I will, and…well…that will suck 🙂

  11. Marianne

    Have you tried preparing all your meals the night before. That is what I do. Also try eating at least 5-6 small meals a day every three hours apart. Getting in some form of exercise at least five days a week. Doing weight lifting three days a week helps also. I am 55 years old and have lost over 85 pounds by doing this. I am also going to school full time and working. It takes alot of stubborness and dedication but don’t give up.

  12. Jane T.

    I think having a sedentary job makes things a little more difficult. Could you add a few minutes of activity each hour of your work time? For example, some jumping jacks, marching in place, walking quickly around the house..I wonder if this might rev your metabolism a bit, without having to schedule more formal exercise.

  13. Biz

    Hang in there Lori! Even when I lost my initial 70 pounds, I looked back at my WW journal and there were several WEEKS of me doing the right thing and the scale didn’t budge, but in the end I did lost 70 pounds in a year – hugs!
    Biz´s last blog post ..Party Pizza Thursday??!!

  14. Sara

    Hi Lori,
    Here are my $.02 regarding how to help get the scale moving in the direction you would like: since your job requires you to sit all day, perhaps you could think about a sit/stand desk? Standing burns more calories than sitting, and with studies now suggesting that sitting all day is as bad for you as smoking, standing for more hours a day is a win-win.
    A year and a half ago, I sprang for a GeekDesk for my office (on my own dime!). It was expensive, but I love it. But I am not handy like you are. I have heard of people making their own sit/stand desk on the cheap.
    When I stand at work, I fidget much more, shift my weight back and forth, sometimes I even pace! It gives me more energy, and I feel less “slumpy” by mid-afternoon.
    Anyway, something for you to think about. 🙂

    1. Lori Post author

      I really wish I could have a sit/stand desk. Or a treadmill desk! My problem is that with my job, I have to work a foot pedal for audio while I type, so I can’t be on a treadmill with that (for obvious reasons). I tried standing and working, but I have to have my weight shifted on one foot to work the pedal and it bothered my hips to do that. I need to revisit that and see if there is some work around on evening out my stance with the pedal.

  15. Lisa

    I’m in a similar boat as you. I’ve been feeling the same way. How restrictive do I have to be to get back down to 143 (the lowest I have ever been)? It’s not a happy place to be. I think I just need to make peace with the fact that I will fluctuate between 144-148 and being in that zone means I CAN eat some more and more of what I want. Maybe you need to do the same?
    Lisa´s last blog post ..Prime

  16. Chris

    You may want to look into T-tapp (they have some free workouts on the web), plus, of course, ones you can buy. I was doing it but gave up and want to get back on track. People have had phenomenal results. You could google charlotte siems – she is one of the most dramatic. I love your blog!

  17. Tami @Nutmeg Notebook

    A blue kitty! Hope you can get that off by the time he goes to his new home.

    I understand the weight thing – it’s such an emotional rollercoaster. Sometimes getting on the scale is so frustrating. We put so much emphasis on that number. However, no matter what the scale showed at that one moment in time it doesn’t change the fact that you ate healthy portions of good food and exercised all week. Once we see an unwanted number on the scale it seems to discount all the right things we did! I wish that didn’t happen but it does and I don’t know how to change it. Of course you could get on the scale tomorrow and show a loss – our bodies are like that -sometimes we just hold onto water or it’s that time of month and so on.

    Hang in there Lori – you are such an inspiration to us all!
    Tami @Nutmeg Notebook´s last blog post ..Vegetarian Black Bean & Soy Chorizo Chili / WWPP 6

  18. Jody - Fit at 55

    It does look different Lori – let us know what you think of this Livewriter.

    On the scale – OMG, I get this & you know I do since I am a weigher. Do you have clothes that can tell you that you may have lost but the scale stayed the same… you know how the scale can be. I totally get the not wanting to eat less…. I do exercise more so I can eat more too. Being short & being older, I would have to eat 1200 calories if I did less… even when I was younger, it was the same. I am just not willing to go there so I do what I do BUT I get that you don’t want it to be all about exercise & watching everything. We all have to do our own thing. Being short too – you are & I am – and both having kinda hard body types, well.. it is tough work! Sorry you were disappointed but I get it… Give it time… on bodies like ours, it does take longer & with age too!

    On Billy – so funny!!! I hope he does well in the new home!!!!!
    Jody – Fit at 55´s last blog post ..New Uses for the Bicep Machine; Glute Tightening!

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